This is my friend Julie. You can't see her that well in the picture, but that's ok. (I stole it off of fb anyway). Suffice it to say that she is a worshiper, missionary, long blonde haired wicked awesome girl from Maine that I met in college and has been mentoring me since my senior year. We met through InterVarsity when she was a senior and I was a freshman. Her being a fellow New Englander meant us getting to bond more at mini IV New England reunions and now she lives in the same house as a close friend of my family in the same town as one of my uncles (and his family). Small world, isn't it? Anyway, lately Julie's and my conversations haven't been quite so regular (they used to be once a week, without fail), but I'm pretty sure our conversation on Sunday night was life-changing. How so? Head to the blog to find out!! May God grant you a life changing conversation this week too!!
Love,
Carrie
Life changing, huh? Yeah. I believe it! And that's what makes the change! Although sometimes I can (seem to) have a very strong personality, I am also very good at being passive. I like other people making decisions for me and telling me what to do. It makes life so much easier! (Or so I think. I've gotten dreadfully burned by this though.) I don't like making decisions for myself. I'm afraid I won't make a good decision and I'm afraid I won't do things right or be able to do whatever I set out to do. I tend to let people steamroll right over me and I haven't had the self-confidence to really believe in myself and my capabilities. Good grief, when I put it like that I wonder how I made it this far? Only by God's grace, that's for sure! And I went to Grove City too, jajajaja! Thank God for Grace!
In college, I didn't know what I was doing with my life. I knew I loved Spanish, Latin America, and the people there. So, it looks like I did the right thing moving to Costa Rica then, right? I guess so! But that's only because I was invited to serve here and i did rally feel like I got the green light from God to do so. But here's the thing. You can study a biology and become a biologist. You can study history and become a historian. You can study psychology and become a psychologist. But you can't study Spanish and become a Spaniard!! What about teaching? (that's what everybody else asks me.) After taking Educational Psychology I decided teaching really wasn't for me. I was too afraid of not being able to handle classroom management. And, I'm such a perfectionist that I would be a horrible Spanish teacher because I wouldn't let the kids make any mistakes and I'm sure they would get the bejeebees frustrated out of themselves. Now I'm not so sure. Maybe I actually could teach.
As I close in on the 2 year mark of being here in Costa Rica (my original plan was for 3 years total), I am contemplating what will become of me when my 3 years are up. I know the world is my oyster and that I have a lot of options. Due to the things I described above though, that is a more frightening than exciting thought. Do I stay? Do I go? What do I do, wherever the heck I am? I can easily let myself get overwhelmed when I contemplate these things. But lately, I have just been trying to think: what are my life goals? Where am I headed? What do I really want to do? How can I make the best use of the gifts and passions God has given me in order to extend His Kingdom on earth? Julie did some awesome “active listening” and helped me brainstorm about some things. That was fun, and I started to get excited about what the future may hold instead of just get intimidated by it. Why? Because she spoke life and truth into me. Nothing I hadn't heard... or even told other people... before. But things that I hadn't truly believed for myself. I often write in reports about the children in Roblealto that God has great things in store for this child. But I wasn't fully believing that God has great things in store for ME, another one of His precious children!! God has created you and me with a purpose and He wants to use us as His instruments to share His love and truth and grow His kingdom. That is so awesome! Life is something to be excited about! I pray God continues to make you and me more sensitive to his leading. May we seek Him and obey Him, that He may be glorified and that our joy may be complete. AMEN!
2 comments:
Praise God for His grace!!! I (sadly) did not keep in touch with Julie after she graduated, but I will always remember her. She was a great listener and gave me some great advice about living for God in everything. I'm glad you're excited about life :-)
Dear Carrie,
Oh, how many of us can relate to your words?! I think back to senior year: What will I do? Where will I go?
Being in Prague has taught me a few things of God's will, as well. Often people will ask how long I plan to stay here. Others will quickly jump in and ask them, "how would she know an answer to that question right now?" It's so true. Even if I wanted to answer their question, I can only make a guess-- and, probably a wrong guess.
Just like you, I had no idea where I would be after college. In fact, I didn't know until August when I boarded an airplane.
I believe that God likes us to be on our toes. It helps us to trust him and to remember how sweet his plans for us are-- they are bigger than anything we can imagine for ourselves. He has a significant plan for our placement. He is the master of "strategic planning." You are in His plan. Rest in it.
God bless!
~Michelle~
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