It's really hard to believe that my first three months in Costa Rica are almost over. Time has absolutely FLOWN by! Yes, but also in my twisted perception of time it feels like I've been here for so much longer than 3 months! A lot has happened, to say the least. I've had a lot of fun and am enjoying growing old relationships that started 2 years ago when I was a student here. I've also really enjoyed getting to know some new people too and God is really blessing that.
I've also run into a lot of challenges and frustrations. At first, work was really hard. It's getting better, but I still let my feathers get ruffled more than necessary when things aren't as I wish they could and think they should be. And of course there is sometimes that little wondering voice that tells me that I'm young and inexperienced and that I don't know what I'm doing and that there's no way I can ever accomplish anything here. He needs to get squished more. He does have a couple good points though-I myself can't do anything here. But God can. And in spite of my weaknesses and "disadvantages" or whatever you wish to call them, God's grace is enough for me. He has brought me here. He has a purpose for me, and he's going to complete it (and I'm really hoping it's more than just the husband that all the ladies at Wednesday morning prayer are praying about, though I think we all know I'm not opposed to Horace-as my mother calls him- stepping into my life at some point in the next 3 years).
Anyway, I've been meeting individually with all the people that signed up to be on the "missions team" during the Missions Conference a couple weeks ago. God has really been blessing those meetings and teaching me a lot from each person. Last night's was especially sweet. Thursday and Friday were frustrating for various reasons and I let the frustration get to me more than I should have. Anyway, I met with Giselle and asked her basically the same questions I'm asking everyone. When I asked her "What can I do to serve you as an individual and also to serve the church as a whole?" she said "Nothing. I just need you to be you. I've been wanting to get involved in missions and have been praying and asking God to put someone in my path that can help me with that. And then you came. You have already been such a blessing to me. You just need to keep being you. It is obvious that Christ is first in your life, etc. etc. etc." I was floored. I love how God uses us when when we don't even realize it, because then we can't get in the way and get all proud of how wonderful we are. Because really, we're not wonderful. We are just broken people being used by God to minister to other broken people. I can get frustrated. Things can go wrong. I can feel useless, clueless and purposeless. But moments like that make it all worth it. May this broken vessel continue to be used by God here in Costa Rica and wherever else He may take me. And may He guide me that He may be glorified to the max in and through me.
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